It's a small world after all

Mood: Tired as fuck
Music: Misery Business - Paramore
Craving: Sleep

Okay movie mara was freakin hilarious.
It starts off me and Joanna taking weird photos on the road in our pjs while waiting for Jess and her mate to pick us up. Hahahahaha.
Anyway then they came, and since I haven't seen Jess in ages, I was filling her in on what she's missed. Then it just so happens that the girl who was driving is ex best friends with.. her. LOLOLOLOL!! Oh my gosh what a small world. Tash is awesome, finally someone who can truly understand! LOL. I also find it funny how people can be all net hero to you, but when they see you in the flesh, they're nothing but chicken shit. And well, I think we proved last night, that we are no net heros.

The world really does work in wonderous ways, it's so funny how strangers in a group can meet for the first time and already share a large thing in common, which is being fucked over by the same person in similar situations. It's even funnier when you see them at the place you're at, and you're just standing there with the other person all like "Yeah you never saw this coming aye, BE VERY AFRAIDDDDDD".

So now begins our loooooooooooooong night. V, No-Doz tablets and Coke couldn't keep me up.. well I was up, but I felt like falling asleep sooo fast. We watched 17 Again (which was sooo good), Yes Man (which was.. okay) and we didn't bother for Inkheart cos it just sounded shit lol.

But before all this, in the morning, Alex had a change of mind and pms-ed over a sentance in a blog, and typically, told me all this on msn. That's when the change of heart that I needed finally arrived. He is definatly not the same person I became friends with and grew to like so much, and as Denita would say, "there comes a point where you just realise you are too good for all their shit and you just move the fuck on". Amen sister.

Anyway we left at around 5am, and waited for Maccas to open for like an hour. Gah so tedioussssssssssssssssss I was so freakin tireddddddd. Most of the group stayed to watch Inkheart, and it was funny cos the centre made the people pay for parking but we didn't have to LOLOL. You could hear people yelling out I'M NOT FUCKIN PAYING over the phone ahaha and apparently a boom gate got broken LOL

EVEN THE BEST DAMN CARAMEL MOCHA I'VE EVER HAD COULDN'T KEEP ME UP, so Andreas took me home =) Thanks lol considering that you and everyone else kept complaining that I live so far. Sorry you 2168 fags LOL

Now I got hunger pains and I'm so tired and I feel really PMS-y and I want to sleep more.

Gone

You've changed for the worse, and I want nothing to do with you anymore. I hope you choke.

Happy Easter all.
I can finally drink fizzy drinks and energy drinks. Perfect timing too, since I got a movie marathon tonight.
Never been to a movie marathon.. should be sick. Me and Joanna are going in our pj's (Y)
Anyway it's 10:03am.. I don't have much else to write. I'll blog later.

A delayed disclaimer.

Okay guys since I've heard that my blogs cause contraversy to some people, I'm going to write y'all a disclaimer. Better late then never hey?
If you are being bagged out in this blog, it's because you deserve it. I'm soooo sorry that you did something to piss off/upset me and that it has to be blogged about, but hey maybe it'll teach you not to do it so you don't get shamed. If you think I'm a jealous person or have issues or whatever, then hey guess what.. SO DO YOU! We all fucking do, that's why blogs were invented. TO RANT. This isn't aimed at one person, rather its aimed at everybody who thinks what I write is oh so shockhorror. If you don't like it, get the fuck off the page then, it's as simple as that. Just move your curser over to the top right hand corner, and click that red x. Or if you cbf to do that, why don't you just hit ALT + F4. I'm sorry if it offends you or makes you wonder 'why', my best explaination is that when I'm not in a good mood I will just rat on about anyone. Ask any of my friends and they could tell you. I don't like dramas at all, but since my life is just constantly filled with unwanted drama, well I'm just going to have to find some way around it. And blogging is my means of escape. Glad you all enjoy reading my blogs so much.. it's cool. If you wanna rat on about me.. then sure go ahead, but only if I've done something which ever made you upset and felt as if your life was a complete mess.



ANYWAY MOVING ON. TONIGHT WAS THE BEST FUCKING CONCERT OF MY LIFE! Mindless Self Indulgence went offffffftapssssssssss. It started off shit cos the supports sucked and Nina's stupid Berocca and No-Doz tablets WHICH ARE MENT TO KEEP YOU UP made me fucking tired and I felt sick. Then MSI started =D And it went away (prob through all the sweat) and FUCKKKKKKKK it just all went off! Jimmy is sooooo insaneeeee! I had a moment with him and I hugged him and he smelt my hair and was liek OMG IT SMELLS LIKE HEAD AND SHOULDERS and just kept sniffing it and I was like =D=D=D
So Jasmine.. ;) Bet you're jealous LOLOLOL

Now I'm coming down from all this caffeine.. and I'm shaking. Also the combination of my anger isn't helping my stomach settle. I feel really sick. I should probably go shower and bed since I gotta be up early. Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I wish I could just get over all this drama and shit. I am so close to just giving up and telling him to shove his apology and attempts at friendship up his ass and to just cut him out completely. But I'm not that type of person. I gave William a chance didn't I? Look how good we are now..
But honestly I don't know anymore. I just want to cry. But I've cried myself out it seems.. which is a good thing as Denita would say.
I just wish I knew what I did wrong for this all to happen. Did I not say something to keep him around? Did I say something which just pushed him away? What the fuck did I do wrong? It seems all perfect and then whambamthankyoumaam I find out he all of a sudden gets over me and starts chasing after somebody else. Man I suck, I can't even keep guys around longer than a fucking month. When this is the third time something similar has happened to you, and it seems you still haven't learnt from your mistakes.. well, all you can really do is just feel pathetic.

I just hope I don't make as many mistakes on my HSC papers as I do on my life.

900 dollars.

Mood: Exhausted
Music: Whore To A Chainsaw - Thy Mum Is Murder (LOL nah kidding. Thy ART)
Craving: Got my nutella =)

I heard the best news today.
My brother and his mate were talking about the cash handouts K Rudd is sending out, and then his mate asks me what I'm gunna spend it on.
So I'm like 'hang on.. I get it?' And my brother is like 'Did you do a tax return last year?' Which in fact I did, got 600 bucks out of and used it to fund many things such as my sternum =D So apparently cos I did the tax return.. I'm going to get the 900.
If that is the case....


I'M FUCKING RICH GUISE!!!!!!!! WAOOOHHHH! =D

After careful deliberation, I've decided I will use it to buy a Nintendo DSi with Pokemon games then use the rest to fund our schoolies trip. Oh I just hope this money does come.... =D

I did something I told myself I would never do again.
I. Ate. Seafood. *barfs*
My brother took me on a daytripper pretty much, and first stop was Dad's. Since it's Good Friday today, to celebrate the death of Jesus, we can't eat meat. But we can eat fish. And I hate fish. So what happens? My brother forces me to eat SQUID. Ew.
It was fucking GROSS. I could taste the ocean in my mouth and I hated every moment of it.

From there we went to his mates house, then to Leichardt and I had a spinach and ricotta pastry thing =D Yumm.. and an iced mocha... yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum. I have decided that I sooo want to live in Leichardt or one of those inner city suburbs. It is soooo nice. I wanna live in one of those small alley house ma bob things and do it up all modern style (H) That would be the life.

Then back to his house, and as I was scrolling through Foxtel I saw that there was like a Scrubs marathon on some comedy channel. I jizzed in my pants, and flick to the channel.
Then my world crashed down. HE DOESN'T HAVE THE CHANNEL.
OHHH
MYYYY
GOSSSSSSSSH.
You cannot even begin to fathom my anger! I wanted to throw something at someone (preferably the remote at his head)

Anyway since 50% of the day consisted of car travel, I bought my greenp3 and the usb and listened to it in my brothers doof doof car system. And at like 97% of my songs he would skip it and say some comment about how shit new age bands are. He took a listen of BMTH and proclaimed that the singer is a faggot (he doesn't know how right he is LOL), and dissed MSI on countless occasions. When he asked what they looked like and I said cyber goths.. well he just pissed himself and was like "That's worse than those emos" LOLOL

Hmm.. I just had an odd flashback.
Let me tell you about it.
I was back at Ricky's psycho 16th in 2008. Now for you guys who DON'T know what happened.. have you been living under a rock? Okay this is your chance to find out now.
It was a normal day out for a group of teens, we went lasertag and many funs was had. Then, it was someones genius idea to get alcohol *cough*Bunyan*cough*. So we all chipped in.. and there was about 15-20 of us so it was a decent amount I would say, and Joe and Bunyan de-youthanised (took off all clothing items which make them look underage) and went to the liquor shop across from Leumeah station to get the grog. Oh and did they ever get grog.. we had goon, Smirnoff double blacks, Pulses, Pure Blondes and Passion Pop.. anyway long story short. We all got drunk, we tried getting home, Hampsey snitched us into the cops cos he thought 'we would get hurt', we got home, threw up a few times, my mother found out, Benita's mum found out.. and it wasn't pretty. So I just had a flashback to us being drunken fucks roaming around a creek close to the train station, and I remember us trying to jump the stream and I missed and got my shoes all wet.. and it soaked through to my socks. Fuck that was horribly unconfortable. Moral of the story: alcohol is bad.

But I'm sure you kids aren't very moral at all, so you probably won't heed my advice. Oh well, your liver.

Though I'm not one to talk either *giggle* Aaron's having a pissup. Gosh I haven't had one of those in ages. AND JEFFREY, YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR SCRUBS-A-THON!!

MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE IS FUCKING TONIGHT!!!! (Since it's like past 12am now.. hahaha) I'M SOOOOOOOOO PSYCHED WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And yeah that's it... ciao.

"OMFGGG I LOVE THIS SONG!!"

Mood: Hyped as bro
Music: Don't Trust Me - 3Oh3!
Craving: Nothing again, I bought Nutella =)

As promised, here is my P/T interview.
Toohey said I'm doing good but I can do better and that my Judaism essay was 'not too bad'.
Minadeo said that I'm always participating and have great ideas but that my rank is bad (FUCK YOU MODULE A ASSESSMENT TASK!) and she doesn't care as long as I'm doing the work and participating.
Arida told me I sing too much (ROFLMAO) and that Benita distracts me, but that I'm doing way better this year but that I can do better anyway. She told me to do practice HSC questions -_-"
Kinnaird told me that I'm lagging behind in my notes and that I'm going pretty good but that I can go better (See a pattern?) AND HE ALSO TOLD ME TO DO A PRACTICE HSC QUESTION!!
Parker is very happy cos I'm like the best student in Retail and I'm gunna get my competencies... AND SHE ALSO WANTS ME TO DO HSC QUESTIONS!!!

FUCKKINGGG HELL SIF I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH HOLIDAY HW ALREADY WITHOUT MORE CRAP BEING PILED ON!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THE HSC!

Anyway today was the shittest day.
My mum woke me up SCREAMING at me for no particular reason.. it's not like we had a fight or anything. Infact last night she was quite happy with my good comments from P/T. Turns out that our stupid flatmate told her that I apparently 'don't respect her' which being her gullible self, she believes and takes out on me. So all day today she was sending me abusive crap and ringing me.. all cos I can't go to woop woop with her cos I got Mindless Self Indulgence this weekend. Fucking stupid faggot.

I'm hanging out with my brother tomorrow =) Money time! $$$ CHING CHING CHINGGGGGGGGGG

So today me and Denita went to Livo cos she needed to buy SOMEBODY (he might read this lol) their Easter present.. and cos it's a 'rah rah' cd/dvd.. she'd have no clue. So I tagged along (H)
But before that we went Stockies... and after that we went Stockies. And just now I went Stockies cos James needed to go LOLOL so much fucking Stockies in one day!

BTW James, you drive like a psycho!
(LOL nah jokes, just calm down on the pedal.. it sounds like a race car ahaha)

ROFL at Benita missing her interviews cos she thought it was tonight, not last night. ROFLMAO GOOD ONE BONEYARDS.

Anyway so just then, me and Aaron got uber bored. So we played Uno on MSN. I hate Uno on MSN. Cos the fucking computer players are nazis. They full draw 4 on me, and skip me, and reverse on me, AND I CAN NEVER WIN!! D= I got so agro.. heres a snippit:
# ivvayy , waohhh. (U) We'll leave them with their regrets.. says:
*OMG
*SLUT
*I HATE YOU
*OMGGGG

- (◕ ◡ ◕) Tsunehito Is Pissed Off So Fuck Off (U) says:
*LAWL theres a ranga playing wif us
# ivvayy , waohhh. (U) We'll leave them with their regrets.. says:
*AHAHAHAH
*ALWL
*AHAHAHA
*LAWL*
*orange player!!
*TAKE THAT RANGA
*OMG WTF
*FAGS
- (◕ ◡ ◕) Tsunehito Is Pissed Off So Fuck Off (U) says:
*your full swearing at the computer
# ivvayy , waohhh. (U) We'll leave them with their regrets.. says:
*HAHAHA I KNOW AHAHAHAHAHA

And then Aaron tried to pick up my brother...

- (◕ ◡ ◕) Tsunehito Is Pissed Off So Fuck Off (U) says:
*you should have people ova tomorrow =D
# ivvayy , waohhh. (U) We'll leave them with their regrets.. says:
*lol nah im out with bro
- (◕ ◡ ◕) Tsunehito Is Pissed Off So Fuck Off (U) says:
*lames
*you have a brother?!
# ivvayy , waohhh. (U) We'll leave them with their regrets.. says:
*yeah!!
- (◕ ◡ ◕) Tsunehito Is Pissed Off So Fuck Off (U) says:
*is he hot? =D
# ivvayy , waohhh. (U) We'll leave them with their regrets.. says:
*ROFL HES 34
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
- (◕ ◡ ◕) Tsunehito Is Pissed Off So Fuck Off (U) says:
*AHJAHAHAHAHAH so? if hes hot ill make an exceptiong (H)
# ivvayy , waohhh. (U) We'll leave them with their regrets.. says:
*LMFAO!! nah hes not LOL
- (◕ ◡ ◕) Tsunehito Is Pissed Off So Fuck Off (U) says:
*lemme see ill be the judge of that XD

God this has just lifted my mood =) OHH! And things are starting to go back to normal in regards to THAT issue =) So I'm quite happy now. I just hope I won't be a walking depressive cloud from now on LOL

Anyway Happy Easter everyone =) Over and out.

FREEDOM!!!!!! =D

Mood: RELIEVED!
Music: Embrace - PNAU
Craving: Nothing. I just had Maccas.

My last assessment was today!!! =D
Well.. okay not techincally last. I still got assessments next term and stuff.. BUT LAST ONE BEFORE HOLIDAYS!! =D Now I can finally breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. suddenly aliveeeeeeeeeee... gosh I love that song =D Download it guys; Breathe - Anberlin. Yeah man.

So I had those two essays for S&C.. and OMG the questions were so gay and vague! Let me show you..

Question 1 (20 marks)
Assess the impact of inequality and its consequences within Australian society WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Question 2 (20 marks)
Outline your understanding of the concept of discrimination, and assess ways that individuals and groups in ONE society can reduce discrimination. In your answer refer to at least ONE of the following areas... blablabla I just did sexuality.

So in the actual HSC, we would only have to do one of those questions. But for this assessment, we got forced into doing both. -_-" The second question is decent I admit, but the first one is SOOO FUCKING GAYYY AND VAGUEEEE! I was like.. scoffing during reading time when I saw it.

Anyway so here I am writing shit on a paper and calling it an essay, when I hear the most loudest cracking of knuckles I have ever heard in my life. My god it was so loud.. it was louder than the time a train honked us at Rydalmere station (and that was so fucking loud.. yet epic.. and hilarious... and note my hyperbole, the cracking isn't obviously as loud as a fucking train). Anyway so I get home and sit my ass on the chair and sign onto MSN and start a nice S&C exam bashing convo with Liana.. when what do you know.. SHE TELLS ME SHE WAS THE ONE CRACKING HER KNUCKLES SOOO DAMN LOUDLY!! DAMN LIANA! YOU HAVE SKILLS! And you succeeded in distracting me =D

So then I was probably on the second page of the second question.. and just as I was trying to get over a mental blank in my head.. I hear River Flows In You being played on keyboard. So today is the schools last day, and they have an easter liturgy.. BUT WHY MUST YOU PRACTICE FOR IT WHILE YEAR 12'S ARE SITTING IMPORTANT ASSESSMENT TASKS WHICH COUNT TO OUR HSC!! I got soo bloody distracted man. I just love that song.. and I stopped writing just so I could listen to the lovely playing (though Liana would probably think it was shit and that she can do better). So there I am wasting 5 minutes of precious shit on a page writing time.. just to listen to some stupid kid play keyboard. Damn I hate exam room distractions.

Anyway still on the topic of gay questions, I got my crew trainer application form today from work. Let us allow a few lines to explain my excitement...
=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D Okay I'm done.
But then it was more like D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= D= ect ect when I took a flick through and noticed HOW GAY THESE QUESTIONS WERE TOO!
Here is an example..

Describe a time when you had to communicate to another person during a really busy time in the restaurant. What did you do to make sure the message got through?

THEN I GOTTA BLOODY DESCRIBE A SITUATION, WHAT I DID AND THE RESULT. BLOOOODDYYY WHAT? As far as I'm concerned, I can't think of a time were something was effectively communicated. And the rest of these questions are also situational.. man I hate that. More shit on a page for me.

That's it for now, I'll probably end up doing a blog later tonight on the results of my parent teacher interviews.. oh joy.
Over and out :)

If there was a lesson to be learnt, it's that I deserve way better than you.

Mood: Not as lazy as yesterday
Music: Love Game - Lady Gaga
Craving: Oreos smothered in Nutella

Another day stuck at home without being able to do anything fun due to the looming Society and Culture essays. Damn you school, you ruin my social life.

Anyway these past two days at home have made me realise something. Day time TV is enlightening. During my 2 hour study session, I was in earshot of Dr Phil rattling on about saving relationships and Oprah consoling a fat twin who is always being riddiculed by her thin twin. So now not only do I know about equality and difference of groups in society, but I now know how to end an arguement with a partner properly and can empathise with fat people being riddiculed. Hence, day time TV is enlightening.

Studying also tires out my brain, and as a result, makes me hungry. I know you're probably thinking how the fuck does that work, but trust me, it does.

Studying is also a wonderful distraction from the bad thoughts I've been having lately. Fuck that makes me sound suicidal. Lemme rephrase that. The 'bad thoughts' are the shit in my life just being constantly replayed, you know.. the guy problems. Whenever this happens to me, I just go from having an overflowing abundance of self esteem to having a self esteem drought. These droughts are fluctuating too, I never know how long they can last. A year, months, weeks.. it varies. Like a real drought, my esteem drought can only be broken in the perfect conditions. When there is constant heavy rain in an area of drought, it is broken. When I am able to put everything behind me, with the knowlegde that the other person is willing to help, then my drought is broken. Though in this case, I'm not too sure if the other person even cares about my feelings of low worth.. he's probably too consumed with his stupid girlfriend to know how hurt I am.

And the last thing study made me realise was this: I deserve dignity.
Of course this is because I was studying our case study being women, it's not like this enlightenment came about studying Physics or something. From all these happenings, I've lost all my dignity. It's not common for me to go around 'hooking up' with random dudes. I see it only fit when it's with somebody you like. So for this to happen, after everything else that happened.. I think it's safe to say I feel absolutely used. It's also made me lose all my faith in all guys. Now I'm inclined to believe that all men only want one thing, and because I didn't give it up, he's gone.

If any guys read this and feel offended, I'm sorry, but hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Deal with it.

Okay that's enough for today, I'm fucking hungry.
Over and out.