Sunday, May 31, 2009

I don't know anymore.

I have probably made the biggest douche of myself to date.

While in English today, searching up the Balkan wars for our History/Memory topic, Wikipedia had interesting entries. Saying things like the war was the most brutal since World War 2, and that the Croatians had 'fierce nationalism' and other strong adjectives describing well.. strength and brutality. Benita then made a comment, something like "GOD YOU CROATIANS ARE VIOLENT PEOPLE". It got me thinking today as I walked home from the bus. Am I really that brutal because of a nationality? Well no. But I am brutal, I realised. It took a reading of all my blog entries to realise this too lol. But now that things are starting to pick up, I don't think I shall subject you all to such brutal rants, well at least not everyday :) lol

So today was the last school photos ever. =( Oh so sad lol. And it was also Deni's birthday soooo...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENITA!
so for the Pastoral photos, we lined up in height order. And as the dude was telling chicks to sit down.. I was the last one standing, and all the seats filled up. I GOT TO STAND UP!! =D Oh my god I haven't stood since I was in year 7.. I FELT SO TALL! =D I was surrounded by guys too.. what a sausage fest. LOL

Hope my individual photo was good, after all.. it will be in the yearbook. HEK - _ -

I LOVE THE NEW MOON TRAILER SO FUCKING MUCH oh god. oh GOD OH GOD OH GOD.
Jacob Black.. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON trailer in HD


Anyway, time to study.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Hello procrastination

Mood: Too fucking lazy
Music: Infinite Death - Thy Art Is Murder
Craving: Chocolate

Thursday 2 is the worst day on the timetable.
  • Legal
  • Society
  • Double Religion
  • Double Retail
Every two weeks I feel like killing myself on this day. But not today.
Today was the exception to the rule.

Every year the school has that biggest morning tea crap for raising research for breast cancer. We sell Krispy Kremes. Back in the day (Year 7) one donut would have costed a dollar. Over the years, that went up to a dollar fifty.. and today it was two dollars. God that is almost as much as it is at the actual shop. But anyway I still bought one, cos this is the only time in the year I actually get to eat the bloody calories in a wheel. Well.. apart from post Rydalmere semis at the start of this year, that was another exception to the rule.

Since they all got so bloody expensive, nobody wanted to buy any. Not even the Asians who you would see buying boxes in previous years. The teachers got desperate, and sent out Year 12s to sell them in the playground. At this point Julia bought myself another donut =] I felt like a heffa, but what the hell.. its not like I'll be having another donut soon anyway. An exception to the rule

Then came DOUBLE RELIGION. Back in the day when I had a proper Religion teacher, I wouldn't mind double Religion. But, now that I had to switch classes due to Benita's class having many 2 unit drop outs, that can no longer be. My first term in this new class wasn't too bad actually, we had a decent unbiased teacher. But since she had a bun in her oven, she had to leave. Enter 2009.. and enter.. our new teacher. I need not mention names, but he is infamous for being a horrendous teacher.

Anyway out of all the doubles I have, only Religion and Retail seem to last a million years as opposed to 100 minutes. Why did the timetable fairies have to make the two worst doubles ON THE SAME FUCKING DAY? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. So double Religion is usually horribly boring.. and today was no exception. The only exception was when returning from our inbetween lesson potty break, I tripped Benita over. BAHAHAHAHA! How epic.

Anyway then finally came lunch time. And with it came a certain incident. You see.. Benita is never funny. So she will take any chance to try and be funny. Today was no exception. Although the exception to that rule was.. she actually was funny. So the bell went and I went over to ask Carmine and Daniel something, and as I was returning I noticed Viet acting a little more spastic than usual. I picked up my folder, and thats when I realised.. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BAG?!?!?!?! I look up, and see Benita shitting herself, HOLDING MY BAG and trying to dispose of it! Now apparently my face was like Shoop Da Woop's.. so judging by anything I looked like this.
So Benita is now looking quite frantic as she didn't know where to place my bag. Cos she's also a noob in pulling stunts like this, she was also quite slow. She pulled herself together eventually and put it on the lowest tree branch just when I caught up. So I took it down, hobbled towards her (I was holding my bag and my folder :|) and good thing she was behind a herd of Year 7s.
Cos this enabled me to get my swing ready.. and WHAM! Then to finish it off, I barged into her. SHE SMASHED INTO THE WALL! It was the most ownage thing I have ever done!

THEN SHE TELLS HER FKN FAMILY ABOUT IT. FFS, THEY ALREADY THINK I'M A RETARD (a funny one though) COS OF ALL THE STORIES SHE TELLS THEM! She even showed her mum that photo of me from Switch where Joanna was whacking me and my face was epic lol. I would post if I had, but I don't, and Facebook lags.

Retail was no exception to the rule. It was just boring as usual. I almost fell asleep.. no joke. The only thing that was remotely interesting was Lyndon spinning Bunyan multiple times on his chair, then Bunyan getting up and walking all lopsided haha. I really don't know how I'm going to do my HSC paper for Retail. I barely pay attention in it since it isn't a hard subject, and I'm always falling asleep. I don't even remember half the shit we've learnt. The worst part is, Year 11 stuff is in the HSC as its a stupid TVET course. FML

Rant time:
The 'friend zone' doesn't exist. It is a stupid excuse for not going out with somebody you obviously like and hit off well with. Only pussies who don't want to 'ruin the friendship' use this as an excuse. Anyway this came up in one of those 'Bozz bagging out my blog' convos. After suggesting he will fall into homosexual love with Gerard, I get this
daniel says:
the time for thats long past, we're in the friend zone
daniel says:
friend zone
daniel says:
the un breakable barrier to a relationship
daniel says:
noone has ever broken the friend zone
Well people, I am here to tell you today. THE FRIEND ZONE IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE, AND IF ANYBODY USES IT, THEY THEMSELVES ARE PATHETIC. It is very possible to break this so called 'friend zone' it's just that people are too scared too. People these days need to stop thinking with their heads, but their hearts. In the end, listening to our hearts is listening to what we truly want.

Over and out.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The award for the best blog goes to..

YOU! My dear blog, I love you. I created you as a coping mechanism for all my tedious, petty teenage issues. When I was upset, I expressed it through you. When I was angry, you betcha I did the same. But not only did you share my bad times, you also allowed me to rejoice in the good times. Controversy arose occasionally when others misinterpreted you, or simply didn't like what was posted. Because of this, I even thought about deleting you, but that would have just upset those who enjoyed what was being said. Memory is a powerful item, and my dear blog, you have harnessed that item effectively. Not only that, but you allowed me to release my thoughts and rants, which eventually leads to growth. I would like to thank those people who actually put time aside just to read my posts. As many of you are yourselves creating blogs, I now take the time to examine your works. Blogs are wonderful for providing a full perspective, and creating hindsight. So again, thank you blog!

If there was an Academy Awards for blogs, I'm pretty damn sure that would be my acceptance speech. Oh wait I'm getting ahead of myself a bit aren't I? I should have said "If there was an Academy Awards for blogs, I'm pretty damn sure that I would win". But we all know I would win, so why should I state the obvious? =P

So right now I should probably be starting to find content for my Legal Studies in class essay next week, and maybe even starting Chapter 2 of my PIP. But really, I am not bothered. I would rather fast forward 23 days into the future, to celebrate my birthday and get my P's. I'm actually starting to get a bit nervous about the test. I haven't had a driving instructor before, and I'm doubtful I will get one, so I'm not familiar with the test routes. Also, Liverpool or Wetherill Park? Gosh this is tough. But, at least the car part has been sorted out. Mother promised she would get me a car =)

Recently a certain somebody by the name of "Whale" has been the centre of myself and Alize's attention. NB: Liana's new name is Alize.. you can work out why ;)
It seems everytime we start talking about Whale, they walk past us, and the situation just turns awkward since I go silent (as I try to hold in my laughter). There are further things we talk about.. but I can't reveal that here, sorry blog. Now Benita doesn't know who Whale is, and she's been asking me quite alot. I don't tell her simply to keep her in suspence =P But she shall know soon.. enough. LOL

Today I had received some good and inspirational advice from somebody who had been in my predicament before. To be honest it wasn't anything original, but for some reason it seemed much more soothing coming from her. I don't know what the reason is for this. Maybe because she had been in this situation before? Maybe because she knew how low certain people can be from experience? Well I don't know really, but it was just so.. soothing. I'm glad I managed to somehow meet this girl, she is such a good friend to the people I know and is a good person to me. Good people is what I need nowadays.

And I'm confident the people I got now are the ones that wouldn't bail out on me ever.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

I really don't mind what happens now and then.
As long as you'll be my friend at the end.
I've been listening to Kryptonite non stop these past few days.
Quite addictive.

So today I awoke to my mother screaming my name asking to help her clear out the garage. It seems fitting that I should help since the only reason she's cleaning it out is so I can have my birthday party in there, so I (un)willingly helped.
It made me a little excited for my birthday/party, which is in 26 days :)
I then made invitations today, and have sent them to about half of the people I want to invite. I quite like them, pretty good job for something done on Paint.

Then came 4.00pm, work time =) It's quite the routine now. I always have work on a Sunday night, I rarely ever get rostered on other nights. Not that I mind of course, I get to work front area with the two maddest people out. Andrew and Britt are the reasons why I bother going to work, to be honest. People come and people go, but if they quit, I would seriously quit too.
So tonight, somebody who has held a grudge with me since Year 8 came in. He didn't say hi (no suprises there) but his friend did, and engaged in some small talk. It must have been so awkward for the poor kid. But in all honestly, what happened is long behind us, we are now in Year 12. I'm hoping you matured as much as I did, so stop with this grudge shit seriously. I don't want you to go out of your way to say hi to me everyday and be my friend, but if we do cross paths, just say hi out of respect. Gosh. I hate snobs like him.

As I was wasting the hours I had before work, I decided to do something I haven't done in a long while. I went on a certain somebodies MySpace. I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it.. but handle it I did. The revelation I've been longing for also came. I can't go on hating him for everything that happened. What happens happens, if she comes along and he falls out of love with me and in it with her, then that's how the dice rolls. I've had my time to be upset, but no longer do I fret anymore. I only now fret because he isn't my friend anymore, that is it. So it's not that they're together, it's that we aren't mates like we once were. All thats left for me to do is to be happy for him. He is happy, he's got what he's wanted, he's healed from his past relationship, and as somebody who sort of witnessed all of that, I'm glad he was able to leave it behind. Sure, it would have been more favourable if it had been with me, but like I said, that's not how it was supposed to be. Now I hold out for the future, if he is or isn't in it, I won't be too fussed.

This is for Liana: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK =)

Over and outskiesss !

Saturday, May 23, 2009

VapoDrops

I hate being sick.
Thanks to Annaliese, I have a sore throat, one runny nostril, the other nostril is blocked, I'm sneezing like a mother fucker and I sound like the nanny. I've been overdosing on soup, tea and Vicks VapoDrops all day. I tried studying for Modern, but then I would be as disillusioned and demoralised as the Germans were due to this stupid cold.
Procrastination reared its ugly head, I ended up watching a few movies.

I miss 90's TV. Johnson and Friends, the Animals of Farthing Wood, Magic Mountain and Round the Twist were the best shows on ABC. I've been toobing some Round the Twist episodes and AFW ones too.. gosh I'm feeling so nostalgic now.

Rant time.
One thing I hate about girls is how they lower their standards just so they can get a guys attention. They would do anything for a certain guy to notice, so they act in a way which totally isn't them just so they can get the attention. They also remove any prior morals they had. So, if a girl hates guys who sleep around, and she just so happens to meet somebody who is sooo charismatic, but oh no, he sleeps around! Oh this is different, he is different. Keep telling yourself that honey. Oh and classic example today, a boy completely personally attacks a friend, while the girl does nothing but LAUGH about it. Wow, a simple "Hey you've crossed the line" is not going to ruin all your chances with a guy, especially one who is such a whore like he is.
Oh here is another example, hearing one thing about this person you want, and automatically telling them. S-N-I-T-C-H is all I can say.
People like this really piss me off, I know it's hard to never do this, but it's not fucking hard to try doing it either. Guys have 'bros before hoes', girls have 'chicks before dicks', just remember that.

I should go back to consolidating Hitler's power.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Retrospect.

I saw her again this morning.
Fleetingly from my morning bus, as has been the norm for a whole year.
I couldn't help but think, what life would have been like had I forgiven her and mended our wounds. It seems weird doesn't it? I attempt to mend things with male friends, but when it comes to a female friend, who had been a very close and special friend, everything just fell through.

But thinking it through, I have put some logic behind it. With the male gender, it's almost expected that they will fuck up in some way, and you just have to be tolerant of it. Tolerance is the key. Once you are tolerant, you can overcome any obstacle. So when a male friend fucks up, you may be more inclined to forgive and take them back (not necessarily forget of course) due to the fact that it is expected they will fuck up in some way. But when it's a female friend, things are so much different. Females have a built in empathy (or at least should), and can then understand when a best friend is going through a rough patch. From this, they should know far better than to do anything which will cause them to go through a rough patch. So when your best friend wrongs you in such a grievous way.. your pain just can't allow them to ever come back into your life.

I haven't physically spent time with her for a year. The last time we had spent time together as best friends was the Italian festival last year. This was also the beginning of the end for us, as she had started talking to the person I had liked at the time. Let me just do a quick summary of what happened.

I had liked him since the middle of Year 10, and now it was approaching the middle of Year 11, and I still liked him. Even though it was blatantly obvious we would never be anything more, my feelings had gotten to such a strong point that I couldn't just stop. I had been her best friend since I was in Year 6, and she in Year 5. Our 5th or 6th year of a strong friendship was approaching. Being such a good friend, she obviously knew me inside and out. She obviously knew I still had feelings for the loser. So then what happens? Well, they slowly start getting into contact with each other. This was around the end of May. After many reassurances from herself that nothing was going on between them, I decided to let it slide. She's my best friend after all, right? Of course she was telling the truth, right?

Wrong. Oh so fucking wrong. Following the Italian festival came the weekly Liverpool Idol gigs on a Tuesday night. Myself and my male friend made it a custom to go every week. When one night, I noticed he was particularly busy with his phone, constantly messaging. Being my normal self, I snatched his phone in a light hearted manner to see the caller I.D was simply 'My Sunshine'. "Who. The. Fuck. Could. That. Be." was running through my mind all night. My best friend had also been messaging me that night, encouraging me to 'pick up' guys. Wtf? Things started to get a bit suss. I asked her again, was something going on, again she denied it. This was now the middle of June, a week before my birthday. This is when the truth was finally revealed. An unexpected ally was found in Mr Alex Marshall. He had told me that he had recently been forced to act as a third wheel when they decided they wanted to go on a 'date'. He also told me, that she had completely stressed how important it was for him to keep quiet, so I wouldn't find out. I owe Alex for realising this was slack, and no matter how slack it was for me to find out through a third person, it had to happen. So then there was nothing to it, she had to finally admit to it. By then I was a complete wreck. My heart had been dealt with such a horrible blow, my best friend going behind my back with somebody who I had assumed to have loved. I had lost two significant people in one go. She was sorry, but that came a little too late, when she had already lied and broken an important rule in girl code.

Okay that didn't turn out to be a quick summary. But you know me, once I start, it's hard to finish. Now the only time I ever see her, is if my bus goes past as she walks to school, or occasionally at late night. Today, with the experience gained and the retrospect I hold, would I forgive her? It has been a year, I am suprised that I was able to sever all ties with her for this long. But to reconnect those ties.. it seems kind of pointless. We haven't been speaking for so long, we fell out in the worst way possible, and I told her myself I wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

Don't know why I've been thinking about all this shit lately.. I guess its because it is leading up to a year since it happened. This was a major impact in my life during 2008. A million Panda's taking a million Alessandro's couldn't compare with that. The other day after English speeches, Lauren and Benita were reminiscing about 2008. Lauren specifically remembered a time in English when Benita was consoling me, I was upset by all that shit happening, and I was simply bitching and crying. Sad isn't it, almost a year later I found myself back in that predicament, but obviously due to different causes.

So my conclusion? I really got to stop letting these things get to me. Or even better, prevent them from ever happening.
I've had my fair share of drama.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Scales of justice


A trip to the Downing Centre is worthwhile.
I loved every aspect, the beautiful crystal chandelier, the spiral staircase, the court rooms.
It re-sparked my ambitions, and cleared all doubt I ever had in myself.
I know now, one day I am going to spend the hours of my day there, not as a member of the public.

The different styles that lawyers adopt was fun to observe. Some know their case well and can argue so convincingly, while others seemed like they had no idea what time of day it was.
Same goes with judges, while some paid attention, others looked like they haven't slept in days.

The cases I observed were really interesting. The first was at the district court, a Cambodian lady from Cabramatta (I found that funny lol) accused of smuggling heroin into the country. Not to turn this into a Legal Studies essay, but considering the actual incident took place in 2007, and it's being heard in 2009, uhh.. lag much? (I wouldn't actually say that in an essay, but you get me.) The second was in the local court, a domestic violence/sexual assault. I think this was heard in the local court because the districts were full, offences like that aren't usually for local. This was really interesting, but just when the wife was about to go into the details of a 'rape', the prosecutor opens her big mouth. "I know this is a local court and it's an open court, but I've noticed some school students inside. Do you really think they should be here?" to which the judge owned her saying "Well they're teenagers, don't you think they're old enough to stay and handle the details". But we still got kicked out for the sake of the victim, god damn it! We heard some AVO's inbetween, which was pretty quick. Then the final case was a soccer fan accused of bashing a security guard at a.. wait for it, Sydney United soccer game LOL. They played footage of the incident, and you can just hear nationalistic Croatians screaming FUCK ALLAH and SUCK MY DICK LEBS in Croatian. Oh I was so ashamed lol. The defendants' lawyer was a real asshole to the witness (the security guard), kept interrupting him and saying he wasn't answering his questions properly (when in my opinion I think he was).

Oh how interesting the law and justice is.

Much to Benita's disappointment, my sternum didn't show up on the metal detector. She was really hoping I would beep and be pulled aside and questioned and have to show evidence of the culprit of the beeping.. unlucky.

Overall it was a good day. Filled with card games, boob discussions, walking around the city, caramel lattes, oh and of course, the court cases.

OHH and that hot lawyer. If I was older, I would have so hit on him. Good looks, brains and money to prove it, what more could a girl want? *sigh* I envy whoever his girlfriend is.. unless he was gay, god I hope not. That would be a massive waste of male. LOL

So last night I got bored, and Zac was talking about how his videos have gotten much more views lately. So I decided to watch a video again, and pause randomly. It seemed that when I did pause, it would be on the most funniest face. So I decided to create.. the Zac Zanetic Collection. This will feature in the graduation ceremony powerpoint, I hope LOL.
Have you ever noticed how all the good guys are homosexual? You meet somebody who is sweet, nice and easy to talk to, not to mention GORGEOUS, and you get all psyched. Until he starts talking about his sexuality and guy problems. That's when you just think "Another waste". Guys are running short anyway, so why do they have to convert to each other?! THERE ARE PLENTY OF GOOD GIRLS IN THE WORLD WHO WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO HAVE YOU!!!!!

Before I sign off, the New Moon poster RIPS on the Twilight poster.
It captures Jacob and Edward's profound hate for each other in such a good way.
And the positioning of Bella.. gosh it just screams "FUCK YOU EDWARD, LOOK WHAT I GOT!"
Not to sound like a massive Twilight fan, but Taylor Lautner is fucking gorgeous, so I can't wait for New Moon to be released. Eye candyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Over and outskiesssssss !

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dicks to you

I'm not bothered with myself today. It's just one of those days.
Society was gay, I spoke too fast and was way too nervous.
Legal excursion to the Downing Centre is tomorrow, yay.
I still haven't begun studying for Modern, and it's next week.
I have nothing to look forward to until June.
I'm now in a concert drought. Unless I go to PWD in August.. but I doubt it's after trials.

Bah. My creative fountain is dry tonight.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The aftermath

It seems some scene bitch viciously attacked me in the mosh.
I got a mad scratch on my arm =D

Not much to say, just that GWEN HARWOOD IS SOO LUCKY SHE IS ALREADY DEAD. Since she is on the whole HSC 2009 cohort's hitlist ;|
It's so hard to memorise this speech, and I can't hold my cards properly!!

So the Sunday night crew have come to the conclusion of this.
I am scene.
Britt is lad.
Andrew is chav.

Yeah. That is all.


18TH MAY 2008


Today was my English speech. Damn Gwen Harwood!
I went alright I guess.. I slipped up a bit, but nothing too major. Everyone slips up from nerves.

Tomorow will mark one month until my birthday :) Hope you all remember what I want :P

Now this is truly all. LOL

ONE MORE THING ACTUALLY,
I WANT YOU ALL TO READ THIS INTERVIEW WITH SOMETHINGSOMETHING FROM ALL TIME LOW!
CHANTEL DID IT, SO YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST!
http://www.bombshellzine.com/newspage/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=4130
KTHNXBAI

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Bring Me The Horizon.

It was FUCKING INSANEEEEEEEEEE !





Zomg so our adventure started at approximatly 5:30pm, and we (Benita and Joanna, and myself I mean) were just buzzing with excitement.


6:30, and we arrive at the Roundhouse. We see many people we know, Pete, Zomaya, Gaybo, Julez and fellow emos, Zac and Lisa, James and more.


Before I had left home, I had remembered an old friend was a BMTH and Red Shore groupie, so I got worried he might be going. I shook that concern off, however. But then I saw somebody who I thought was him and I was like "Ohhhh fuck" but thankfully it was just some random.



5 minutes later, he actually shows up.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

So here we are, waiting in line, me scabbing Zac's mother, when low and behold, Carrabs comes up and starts talking to me. YES I KNOW, WHAT A FUCKING SHOCK! The whole time I was just like "I thought you hated me! :" To which he didn't answer so maybe he does LOL but still what the heeeeeell !

The world is turning upside down.

Oh then I yelled at Benita for getting 66% on my 'How well do you know me' FB quiz. YOU SHOULD GET 100% YOU BIATCH!!

So inside we got, and headed straight for the merch. The merch line was fucking worse than the fucking mosh. So many shoves and pushes, and at one point the fail sellers ran out of change - _ - But we managed to make new friends in the line =) He was like OMG I GOT HAYFEVER and I was like SWINE FLU! and everybody laughed. Hahaa.


But I still ended up getting my BMTH hoodie =)

Then off to the toilets it was, for our traditional Roundhouse girls bathroom picture, and to check if "Thanks for your imput Dean McIlhagga" is still there. It is LOL

Me and Benita are fucking stupid, we thought the first band was Cancer Bats. And they were playing what sounded like the Garden of Impurity by The Red Shore.. so I'm like "Wtf why are they covering the Red Shore?" Then somebody kindly told me, that it WAS the Red Shore.

OMFG, BIGGEST PISSBOLT OF MY LIFE INTO THAT FKN MOSH!


But it was over =[

Fuck we are idiots LOL

Zac wanted to record him and little Matt and others acting out DBZ, but that never ended up happening.

I SAW PEOPLE WHO I KNEW ON MYSPACE, AND THEY RECOGNISED ME! =D I was like ZOMG I KNOW YOU OFF MYSPACE! I truly felt scene *grossssssssssssssss* but oh well.

Oh then when I saw Suzie, she knew me, but didn't know me for like 5 mins.
Suzie: I know your face.. but where from :
Ivana: Ice skating last year for school sport?
Suzie: OMG YES I KNOW NOW!! *hug*

Oh yes then I recall catching up with the MMC chicks and lolling at the fact Eden wasn't there, when I felt unwanted attention being focused on me. I knew he was probably shit talking too, but that's what you gotta expect from somebody who posts your once confidential 'between friends only' things onto a social networking site. Gosh I love when people who aren't your friends anymore are in the same building as you. What once would have been at a Roundhouse gig, me running up and saying hello, was now the most hostile situation. Oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles, not in my life, your loss mate =)

Ah yes. So then me, Joanna and Benita went into the Cancer Bats mosh. It was baaaaad. I couldn't get out. So what did people do? THEY FUCKIN CROWD SURFED ME OUT!


The music wasn't playing, and I was fucking surfing. IT WAS EPICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC





Then, the moment I have been waiting for for god knows how long. BMTH FUCKING CAME ON!


My mosh skills are mad, started from the back, ended up on the righthand side very close to the front =) But I lost Joanna and Benita =( It was sooo epic. I saw Oli Sykes up close. Gosh he may be a pommy asshole, but fuck he is fucking gorgeous! I got shit pics of him though, this was my best one.

So they played:
Diamonds Aren't Forever, The Comedown, For Stevie Wonders' Eyes Only, Football Season is Over, Alot Like Vegas, Sleep With One Eye Open, It Was Written in Blood, Pray for Plagues (which I started the chanting for =D) Chelsea Smile, Death Breath and Suicide Season.

Mad disappointed they didn't play Medusa or Black and Blue =(

So during the moshing, one of many fucking crowdsurfers knocked me in the head, which then knocked into a shoulder, and my nose started bleeding as my piercing had stabbed into the side. This guy was like ARE YOU OKAY and I'm like YEAH I'M FINE

LOL AT BENITA ALMOST GETTING INTO A FIGHT AHAHAHAHAHAHA

LOL AT THE TWO GUYS SINGING "I'M A TITS AND ASS MAN" AND I JOINED IN AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LOL AT THE DRUNK CHICK IN THE BATHROOM!
Drunk: IS ANYBODY HERE SOBER?!?!?!
Ivana: I AM!
Drunk: OMG. TELL ME. HOWS MY HAIR AND MAKEUP
Ivana: It's fine
Drunk: So if you were a hot hot guy you would hook up with me?
Ivana: o_______O uhh..
Joanna: YEAH!
Drunk: YAAAY, WOULD YOUUUUUU?
Ivana: o_____O
Benita: YEAH!
Drunk: YAAAAAY, AND WOULD YOUUUUUUUUUUU?
Ivana: .....Yeah?
Drunk: YAAAAAAAAAY MY HAIR AND MAKEUP IS GOOD

So then the show was over, and I saw Zac and Lisa were behind me the whole time, gosh we all looked like train wrecks. But it was worth it. This has got to be one of the best concerts I've ever been to, which I say for every concert, but honestly, this was gold.

Outside we wait for Joanna's dad, and Carrabs walks past and says goodbye (SHOCK HORROR YET AGAIN!) Then Zac and Lisa join the party, until they got picked up. Then in the car, In the Navy was on the radio so we all sang it, and Twist and Shout was also on, so we sang that lol.

Stopped at Maccas for some food, kept on singing, reminiscing (KFC Colonel was in the KKK.. THE KRISPY KREME KINGS! Gosh good 2007 times), planning a trip to the haunted house in Liverpool. List goes on.

So now it is 1:06am, and I can't sleep, I'm buzzing from excitement (and my ears too from the fucking speakers) at the fact that I just saw Bring Me The Horizon =) They can finally be crossed off my 'To see list' =)
My BMTH hoodie is sooo warm =)

Oh and,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOMAYA, BESAN AND LUCA ! You're all fucking 18, buy me alcohol fuckers =D

Over and out!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Square eyes, part II.

Mood: Exhausted
Music: Breakeven - The Script
Craving: A salad would be nice.

Another night working on Society and Culture. I think my eyes have definitely assumed a square shape. The speech limit is ten minutes, and I am currently on about 8 minutes, and I haven't even begun to discuss my questionnaire results :| I'm fucked.

I (L) the song I'm listening to. I wish I could have discovered it before, it would have probably helped me cope.
What am I gunna do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay? I'm falling to pieces... I'm falling to pieces.
Cos when a heart breaks, it don't breakeven.
My new favourite song. =]

Today was actually a pretty good day, considering it was a school day.
I guess it was mostly because Benita, Zac, myself and others were psyched for BMTH, considering it's Zac's first concert in almost a year, massive milestone.
So it's recess, Zac and myself are singing Pray for Plagues, while a meter away are the Year 10's studying for History. After ignoring numerous "SHUT THE FUCK UP" ' s, Hampsey decided to throw his shoe. But I don't think he would realise just how funny this would be, his aimless throw ended up hitting Zac square in the face. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It was fucking hilarious.

All of yesterday and today, strips of paper have been distributed.. all for this one video.

Fucking hilarious imo

I bashed that bitch Benita up, and she punched me in the tit. Ow.

Then came lunch time, my favourite lesson of the day =D
Here I was playing some hacky sack with Julia, Annaliese, Ellie, Joe, Yogi Bear (Ricky), Benita and Simon. Then joined Bozz who decided to fkn pelt me with the hackysack, tis kay, I bashed him (H) Wow I've bashed alot of people today.

TODAY IS BRING ME THE HORIZON! Yes it has now past midnight.. SO WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !
=D psyched as.

But I still have to finish Society. =\

Over and out, :)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Square eyes

I've been staring at this computer screen for far too long.
I've had my Society and Culture work open for four hours, and I've probably only managed to add a couple of lines to my speech. This one dot point of the speech has stumbled me and I have no idea how to address it, or if I'm doing it right. So my solution has been to practically do nothing these past hours. Gah.
I only have tomorrow night, and all day Sunday to finish everything.
Not to mention practice my English speech.
*sigh* HSC is a life killer.

It's interesting to note, however, how people react to the sudden increase in work that the HSC year brings. Some are smart enough to have developed a good study plan (and to stick buy it), some just procrastinate like no tomorrow (just as I am right now by writing up this blog), but most just whinge and complain about their work load. Which is fun, but it won't do the work for you. It's fun to listen to the complaints of others, you finally start to feel sympathetic and you understand just how heavy the work load really is. When I heard a Yr 12 student complain while I was in Yr 11, I would dismiss it thinking 'I won't have to worry about that, yet'. I hate how time travels too quickly, and before you know it, you are that student complaining about that work load. The worst thing anyone could also do is go on the opposite side of the spectrum and say HSC is easy. A couple of Ex-12ers have already preached just how insignificant the HSC will seem once you hit Uni. That may be all true, but I don't care about Uni just yet. I care about what I am doing now, and if it's the HSC, then yeah I am going to think that it's a big work load. I think it's only safe to think like that when you're in Year 10 and you know you're going onto Year 11. Only because it's blatantly obvious that the SC means nothing once you start working towards the HSC.

This increase in work load isn't good for our health. I can envision many late nights and possible all nighters coming up, and this stress isn't helping my nerves either. You know it's bad when you can't recall the last time you've been wholly relaxed. It's times like these where we need just one simple getaway from it all, just let it all go and have a good time. This came to me on Wednesday night. Though I had a Studies of Religion seminar with several schoolmates that went from the end of school till about 6:30, and didn't get home until 7:15, I still managed to cram in one more thing. James' Multimedia major filming. Though I saw this as a major distraction to my assessments, I'm glad I ended up doing it anyway, since it was a good de-stressed (even if it was for one night). Jen breaking the curtain, my mum skitzing it, driving around like loons (as usual), me breaking Jen's desk, the many filming bloopers and many jokes which were made. All this came as good comic relief to my busy life. If more nights like this can happen, just a couple of mates doing nothing special and still managing to have a good time, then I guess I can pull through this major challenge in my life.

I should probably go shower, before my eyes turn completely square.
I still need to do a Modern essay which is due tomorrow.. eugh.
But, on a lighter note, BMTH is in two days :) Yay!

Out and over (o_O)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

'All the world is a stage, and we are merely players'

Mood: Accomplished
Music: BF & FF - Deez Nuts
Craving: Bread

DENITA FINALLY GOT FUCKING FACEBOOK! WOOOOOO!

So speaking of Facebook, I was on it (duhhhhhhhhhhhh) and I did more of those addictive quiz things. One was "Which Sydney high school do you belong to?" and the answer was Sydney Girls, cos apparently I am smart and trendy? Okay.. thanks for the compliment FB? =D

Then I did one of those astrological things, something about your life path determined by your birthdate? =\
Well this is what it said,


What Your Birth Date Reveals About You!
Ivana this is what your birth date reveals about you!

19 + 6 + 1992 = 2017
2 + 0 + 1 + 7 = 10
1 + 0 = 1
Your Birth Number :1

1’s are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another trait that gets them labeled as being stubborn and arrogant. 1’s are extremely honest and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others’ ideas might be just as good or better and to stay open minded
Well.. that is me in some ways. Not so much in others, I guess I just haven't discovered those qualities about me yet.

I am quite over speeches. I have two due next week on consecutive days, and I'm probably going to have to be pilot marked for Society. Which means having to go first =\ I don't mind it but.. I just dont think I'll do that great =\ What a great way to start pilot marking, with somebody who is absolutely shite.
At least I can rejoice in the fact that I've finished English =) Yup yup, Gwen Harwood's The Violets is done and dusted (and I am quite over that too!)

Absolutely loving the fact that teachers, in particular Fetterplace, are starting to feel sorry for me.
Here I am in the library during Tuesday sport PIP study, going a million miles doing my graphs and starting my powerpoint. All day today I had an upset stomach, and I stopped work all of a sudden cos I thought I was gunna puke. Just as I stop, Miss walks in and asks in that sympathetic voice of hers if I'm alright, naw how sweet, she cares =) Then with a simple rub of the back, tells me to relax and soldier on.

At least the teachers know the stress they put us under =) LOL

How nice am I, I'm helping Garzo out with his speech, and now Lauren.. and probably Liana later HAHAHAHA gosh I'm a good samaritan =)

But yeah I'm just milking at this blog now, good luck y'all with English and Society.
4 days until BMTH!

Over and out :)

Monday, May 11, 2009

As You Like It

Mood: Lazy (but not too lazy to skip a blog)
Music: The Others - Dukes of Windsor
Craving: A magical fairy to do all my assignments

Before I go any further with this blog:
BOZZ HIT HIS HEAD ON THE TV IN THE BUS
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHAAHHAA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH FUCKING DEFINING MOMENT 2009


Okay, so today we had an English excursion to NEWWWWTOWNNNN (yes Jasmine, NEWTOWN)
to watch good ol Shakespearean romantic comedy.
I envy the actress who plays Rosalind.. she is soooo gorgeous !

When Orlando and Rosalind kiss.. I full went NGAWWWW and everyone looked at me =S Opps..
and when Orlando was 'pinning' love poems onto 'trees', one 'tree' i.e. Chantel spoke and said "Thank you!" HAHAHAHA

Oh and we saw Denita and Ninorta =) WOOOOOP ! Denita missed out on perving since the whole form was off wondering around the shops.. ahhaahaha
Cerdon chicks walk past us, and see all the Bossley dudes, and start to lift their skirts up slowly and check them all out.. bahaahaha gosh Cerdon chicks are a million times worse than MMC skanks.

(OOOOOO I hope my opinion doesn't offend anyone!)

Well, that is all for today.. I think. I gotta start English now.
Over and out :)

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Free hate

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Friday, May 8, 2009

Alternative perspective

Mood: Content
Music: Truth of the World - Evermore
Craving: A thickshake

Today was a good, and interesting day :)
Had that debate in Modern History today about whether or not Germany's democracy was destined to fail from the start, and well.. I owned it :) Mwahahahaha, admit it Bozz and Gerard. I freakin owned.

I also got Legal back :) And I'm happy with my mark. 19/20 for first section, 9/12 for second. I'm 6th in the grade now (H) Legal is officially my best subject.

Since it's Tash's birthday on Sunday, we had a party for her today too :) Whenever we have parties at school for people in our group's birthday, Zac ends up hogging all the cake. But today it seemed all the food he had to eat had formed itself into a trail towards him, as Tash pointed out it was the 'trail of destruction' HAHAHAHA

Exhibit D: The crumbs all lead to the suspect..

As some of you more 'dedicated' readers i.e. Liana would know, several blogs back I posted an 'apology' to an old friend of mine who got offended by my 'coping mechanism' after our friendship fell apart because of his negligence. Well I saw something today which makes me 100% confident that he never bothered actually reading it. So do I retract my statement? No, because I actually am sorry. But I just want to refute his statement, since period five Modern History made me realise I'm a hectic refuter. I never wanted to stop being your friend, that was your choosing, so don't say it's because I was the bitch, when really, it was you who was the prick. You wanna know why you're a prick?
  1. All I asked of you was to be truthful to me, and even you couldn't do that.
  2. "It's not like I'm going to turn around and get a girlfriend that's not you" Remember that? You should, you said it. And what do you know? After you told me you couldn't have a relationship because you were 'turned off by them' because of your ex, you did exactly that. Thank you so much for contradicting yourself.
  3. I loved you with every ounce of strength I could muster, and obviously that ment nothing to you since you left like that.
  4. Not only did you lie to me and disregard me in all ways possible, you then decided to rub in my face just how happy you are with her, when you knew full well how upset I was.
  5. To make things worse, you put me down further when I was upset simply because I had expressed my emotions in an (I admit) inappropriate manner. Had you had any heart, you would understand why I was being 'such a bitch', and just leave me be until I had calmed down.
  6. The fact that I've admitted I was wrong for something you had a problem with, and you still have a problem with it.. I mean what the fuck?
  7. You completely gave up on me, a supposed 'close mate' of yours. I'm sorry, but a mate, let alone somebody who had apparently liked me back, would never fuck over their mate like that, then completely dog then when they needed you the most.
Knowing him, he wont even read this. But at least the rest of you will, and will know exactly why this has caused me so much anguish for 3 months.
And if you do read this, then I hope it sinks in deep.

Doing graphs for my questionnaire is annoying.. I have to download 2007 word since Open Office have crap graphs. This is going to take forever.

Work tonight was crap, store manager was working, and William came to visit. So I couldn't talk to him since she made me stay in Drive Thru to take the people's money. William is such a darl, he full came to the drive thru window just to talk to me :) Oh, and told me that the fugliest sped was shit talking about me, and how David was close to hitting her. Gosh I have the bestest friends :)

And some random texted Benita saying "Hey baby are you thinking of my face" or some shit like that HAHAHAHA

Weekends going to be hectic, working on assignments all weekend. (Note the sarcasm)

And now I bid farewell :)



Thursday, May 7, 2009

"Dimitri, do you really think I'm royalty? ... Then stop bossing me around!"

Mood: Tired as!
Music: There's No Business To Be Done On A Dead Planet - All Shall Perish
Craving: To watch this DVD!!

James is a fucking psycho driver.
I have probably mentioned that before, but I will mention it again.
From slamming it in carparks, small streets, wherever, to screaming at every driver, to flying over speed bumps. Oh and not to mention his sharp, retarded turns. God help me.
And that was only the driver, us passengers ended up screaming out windows and barking at people LOL good times :) Should do it more often.

So we went to Liverpool tonight for some late night shopping.. got a bit worried that I might run into people I didn't particularly want to run into.. but luckily I didn't :)
I bought my mummy a wallet, and I bought myself Anastasia on DVD! MY GOSHHHH I've been searching EVERYWHERE for it and I finally found it :) I want to watch it now but I can't cos I'm gunna go to bed real soon.

Currently watching/listening to Eden's cover of 10 Signs You Should Leave by Emmure.. and he's doing alright.. for a noob ;) LOL
So yay for Eden

On this day last year, I would have just gotten out of the Avenged Sevenfold concert. It was a mad concert, I was thinking about it tonight. Having front barrier.. so close to Zacky Vengeance.. oh my gosh he was fucking sexy. This time last year I was probably saying "OMG BEST CONCERT ZACKY'S FUCKING GORGEOUS" and what not. It feels like it was just yesterday, funny how time flies so quickly.

It's my birthday in a month and a few weeks :) Which means I can go for my license :) I am so excited, this means more gigs for me!

BRITT! You must tell me ALLLL the gossip! I'm dying to hear!

I didn't do my Religion essay, dicks to Religion. I got better things to do.. like my PIP speech and my English speech.. dicks to English too actually. Dicks to all of school.

DICKS DICKS DICKS


Over and out :)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Burn list

Mood: I don't even know
Music: One More Night - Phil Collins
Craving: Anything edible. Fuckin starving.

YEAH I don't know why I'm listening to Phil Collins either. I've got this habit of listening to music other than anything ending with 'core' lately, especially soppy sad songs. What is wrong with me.

(Don't answer that with 'Everything', you smartasses.)

Anyhoos, school is really starting to stress me out. All these assessments, and high expectations.. its getting to me. I wish it could just be how it was like back in the junior years. No expectations, no impending external examinations which can determine your future, and most of all.. just being able to cruise through. I hate waking up in the mornings, because I cannot bear facing another day in that hell hole. Not only does school work put me off, so does having to be around people you don't like. That happened to me today, and I was just like 'Eugh.' but oh well what can you do.. gotta soldier on.

I often find while I type these blogs, I daze off and end up staring at a particular thing on my wall while I collect my thoughts. At the moment, I have dazed at two things. A photo of me and Benita, and a replica of the burn list I created for Denita as part of her Christmas present. While I don't have a copy of that on the computer, I do have the photo.

Exhibit C: The incriminating photo
'Incriminating, why?' You may ask. Well given that this photo was taken at a pissup, and I look a bit foooked up, many would assume that I'm drunk in this photo. Benita just looks normal, but there is something about my face which gives off the impression I'm drunk. =\ I actually am not drunk in this photo CHANTEL!* believe it or not.. and wow look at my old hair and fringe. Some days I miss my hair like that. But dazing off and my daze finding this photo has made me reminisce some more (notice the link between my last few blogs has been reminiscing? Damn you English and damn you Gwen Harwood and the Sharpness of Death with your stupid links). I think back to the summer holidays, when I was living it up before I would have to knuckle down and study, back to when I was only ever at home once a week. Back to when long days ment longer time to be out with everybody. Back when everything was turning around and going great for me, and I enjoyed it. Back to probably the last time I was truly happy.

If I could but rewind to that time this year, and just hold onto that happiness (and the person who made me that happy for that matter), then I wouldn't even have anything to worry about and regret today.

As for that burn list? Why.. you wouldn't want to cross LIANA!* me and Denita.. because you will end up on that list :P It's so fun just to gaze up to it and look at the names, and think about why they are on that list.. and what would you do if they actually said sorry to you. It's been a topic of our phone conversations many times.. and answers range from 'Toofing in their face' and 'Giving them a bone crushing hug which screams your forgiveness'. We are such odd people.

I think that is all for tonight, over and out :)

* Liana and Chantel both wanted a mention in a blog AGAIN.. so I told them I would chuck them in :P hahahaha

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Facebook quizzes intrigue me

Mood: Relaxed
Music: Everything and anything Basshunter
Craving: Seared chilli wrap from Maccas

All I ever wanted was to see you smiling
all I ever wanted was to make you mine..

I'll go crazy now you're gone..

I'm crazy, all of a sudden I'm listening to Basshunter =\
Anyway! Liana and I are hilarious people.
This is why..

Liana says:
*stupid ferret i hate her so much!

.:. lol ivaaayyy (M) [11] Homeworking, doing other things. Expect lag replies says:
*LMAO FERRET
*AHAHAHA
*SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE
*AHAHAHAHAHA

Liana says:
*I KNOW ABAHAHAHAHA
*its a classic

.:. lol ivaaayyy (M) [11] Homeworking, doing other things. Expect lag replies says:
*ROFL WHATS WITH ANIMALS AND GRASSCUTTING OUR MEN

Liana says:
*HAHAHAHAH ROFLLLLL
*i kknow aye
*like get back to the fucking zoo already

.:. ivvaaa yyy (M) [11] Homeworking, doing other things. Expect lag replies says:
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hmm where did i hear that one before .hmm HAHAHAHAHAH

Liana says:
*ROFLLL
*;)

This certain snippit of the conversation has triggered another memory.
The use of animal nicknames for people had first originated in Year 9. If Annaliese sees this.. she would recall the Religion times where we would figure out which animal people in the class looked like. The two classics: Shark and Cheezles cheetah/weezle BAHAHAHAHA
Since then, everyone else has caught on :) It's quite fun, and sometimes scary accurate

Mad proud of myself, I managed to calculate percentages from my survey tally and transfer them into graphs :) I've got about 3 or 4 questions done.. and I quite like these pie graphs and column graphs :) Infact..

Exhibit B: The proof that I'm a mad grapher
There you go :) There is some nice graphing for you, eat that PIP markers! Mwahahaha!

Seems that the latest form of procrastination is Facebook quizzes.. and some are actually quite scary. According to "Which type of guys do you attract" I get the players, which is kinda true, and according to "What type of boy should you be with" I got the bestfriend boy.. which I tried doing everytime but it never worked. Well, more like they were my friends, and now one of them is my best friend.. but meh.

Oh and to all you pre teen faggots, be jealous, I know somebody who had an exclusive interview with the one.. the only..
Alex Gaskarth. ;)
Damn Chantel, the whole MySpace population must now envy you ;)

And to a certain somebody who loves to read and critically analyse my blogs, why don't you focus on your fail argument as to why the Weimar Republic was doomed to fail from the start.. oh wait don't bother, I'll just own you on Friday. Mwahahaha.

Over and out kids :)



Monday, May 4, 2009

Peppermint tea

Mood: Poignant
Music: One More Night - Cascada (DON'T LAUGH AT MEEEEEE)
Craving: Salt and vinegar chips

One more night, I wanna be with you
Where I wanna hold you tight
It feels so right
Tonight, I'll leave it up to you
and I think the time is right to stop the fight


While watching How I Met Your Mother, this ad came on for drug awareness.
It was on weed.. and it had scenarios where people were not acting their normal selves, not performing how they should ect ect
And with their mates standing around saying stuff like "I never thought he'd get this into it" and "She's changed, I don't know who she is anymore".
Well it's a real massive shame, but I can actually r
elate to situations like that. I don't condone drugs, and I don't care if people believe marijuana isn't a real drug.. it fucking is. Smoking gives you lung cancer, alcohol gives you liver damage, and marijuana fucks with your mental state. That is the truth, if you all want to be disillusioned teen faggots who think you are so invincible and that it won't have any effect on you.. fine. Your loss when you're 30 years old and living within white walls and a straight jacket.

Eurrghh, I just ate a really off grape. It tastes like fucki
ng wine. Now this has broken my creative flow. I must now regain it.

I ducked out for the last 5 mins of HIMYM to make myself a warm cup of peppermint tea, to accompany while I watch Scrubs. I love the cooler months, it gives me the best excuse to overdose on tea. Camomile, peppermint, rosehip.. yummmmmmmmm. Now I want another cup of tea! When you grow up in a wog household, the above flavours of tea are the essential necessities in a household. None of this Breakfast tea shit.. it's all herbal maaaaaaaaate =) Now I sound like a stoner, which kind of contradicts my prior rant on drugs, but oh well. You all know I'm clean.. at least on drugs and cigarettes anyway ;)

Now as for my mood of poignant.. well, it's undeniable I've been a sad sack of shit these past two or so months. All I do these days is just replay the situation in my mind, I do not think of anything else. The only time I won't think about it, is when I preoccupy my mind elsewhere. So I find my sanctuary in my studies and when I'm out with my friends. But even then my damned mind can wonder. After yet another girl on girl analytical session, I've realised that this has gone on too long. It is now May, and I'm STILL suffering from February's misfortunes. It's so easy to realise that, but it's so much harder to actually do something about it. Which is why this poignancy (I don't even think this is a word) is around, it's more than crystal clear that that occurence has disrupted my way of thinking and even my personality to a degree.. but now I'm just struggling to get out of this rut. I want out, so so badly.

But I can't seem to find any possible means of escape. We tried talking and pretending nothing had happened, but that obviously didn't work. The pain was there, and too impossible to ignore, as was my dislike for his girlfriend. I'm currently trying to go cold turkey off him, and all it's done is made me think about him more. If there was some sort of brain surgery where you could erase the memory of meeting someone, would I take it? No, because obviously that is stupid and would stuff up the present, who knows, I could be worse off today had I not known him. Or I could have been better..
damn my thoughts to hell. This is why I need to get out of my rut, but I still haven't found that first step which will take me out.

This has happened to me before, but the second time should be so much easier. Why is it harder?

Moving on, I just noticed a particular photo on my wall. It's from the 2007 Athletics carnival. In the photo is me, Benita and Viet, with Zac wearing any sporting house prop he could find, with a sign saying 'normal people scare me'. This has actually triggered many memories of that day almost two years ago. I remember Zac getting off the bus and realising he left his sign in the bus, so me and him went to the library, got scrap paper, taped it together into a big poster and made a new sign. I remember laughing at his shitty haircut, and he hated it so much, he wore a Polding pirate hat+wig all day. He wore Turner's fairywings and tutu aswell. And who knows what else.Exhibit A: The actual photo
And, my gosh, how young do we all look. Benita still had her braces back then I think, because she isn't doing that big smile she does now. Viet.. well, Viet still looks as asian as ever, but she also looks like a 10 year old. It appears Zac is sticking out his jaw in this photo, and we all know who he looks like when he does that.. (for those who don't know, he looks like a certain Mr Cullen when he does that.. and sorry, he has a girlfriend). And me, oh gosh look at me. I had my mullet, and that necklace I'm wearing appears to be my 'Bullet bullet' as I used to call it. No really, its a bullet which says Bullet For My Valentine on it. Got it for $33 at Utopia.. RIIIIIIIIIIP! But hey, that's what people do when they're a faggy 14/15 y.o and think they're so mad and hip and down with the scene. It's a shame.. some are STILL like that.

But it's fun watching today's batch of 14/15 y.o's and laughing at them :) Silly girls.
Heard some pre teen losers at Aaron's pissup were fingering each other.. now that is just the grossest and most attention seeking thing I have heard of. Please get off MySpace and get a life.

Over and out :)



Saturday, May 2, 2009

You are my sweetest downfall

Mood: Dare I say.. happy?
Music: Samson - Regina Spektor
Craving: Coke

Highlights of the night

  • Playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with Zac and Lisa
  • Watching Nightmare on Elm Street and watching people get scared.. I love that movie now, mad music!
  • Ricky, Benita and James lagging it badly cos Ricky wanted Maccas
  • Decorating Nadia's birthday cake with our names, and pictures (Zac drew a grim reaper?)
  • Zac eating the writing icing from the tube and saying it tastes like 'meh'
  • Dean setting our hands on fire =D
  • "1..2.. Freddy's coming for you.. 3..4... Better close the door.. 5..6.. Get a crucifix.. 7..8.. Stay up late.. 9..10.. Never sleep again"
  • Ricky burning Daprossi, and getting skewers and making Freddy hands.. running around the backyard screaming
  • Zac hiding for 10 mins at a time and scaring people.. mostly Lisa
  • Lisa climbing over the fence.. took her like 10 attempts LOL
  • Punching Daprossi in the stomach
  • Kicking Daprossi in the balls
  • Ricky: "Nadia I did something in your toilet, and now it won't flush. I think my shits too big for it. Anyone wanna come look?" Dean: "What colour is it?" Ricky: "It's a bit of a greenish yellow colour.." All: "Ewwww" Ivana: "YEAH I'LL LOOK" *Follows Ricky who says it's a joke and to play along* Ivana: "EWWWWWWWWWWW GROSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"
  • Waltzing and singing to songs from Anastasia
  • "And do I dream again for now I find..." *Cyndy and co finish* "THE PHAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA IS THERE INSIDE MY MIND!"
  • Ricky "Wanna start me?!" *Dean gets up* Ricky: "AHHHH!" *Runs around the pool and jumps the fence*
  • Trying to do the one word at a time story game.. but failing
  • *Shazza lies on Daprossi* Ivana "Wow that's the furthest hes gone with a girl" Benita "I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING!!" *hi fives*
  • All of us bashing Zac with Lisa's permission
  • Cyndy: "Oh btw, Issmael is not coming" Ivana: "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
So yes it is safe to say, Nadia's was quite fun :)
Now I'm starting to think about the load of assessments I've been getting and thinking of starting Society tomorrow.. or English.
I need to organise a time to interview James and his mum!
God I hate schoooool - _ -

Today at Stockies, me and Denita ran into a complete IDIOT. The reason this person is a complete IDIOT is because he confesses to Deni he likes her, then she couldn't go to some party of his because she was busy with her FAMILY, and he chucked the biggest CRY about it, and ended up going out with some random chick instead (they've broken up now, so dicks to you!). I MEAN WTF? That is just pathetic. So we see him, and he's obviously looking towards Denita, and he can also see me. So what do I do? I chuck him a massive dirty. Then he ends up saying hi to her.. yeah thats right bitch, my intimidating glance intimidates you. But then she asked me exaclty HOW I looked at him, and when I demonstrated.. she LAUGHED at me. It wasn't just laughing.. it was a prolonged period of very hard laughing. SO WHEN A NON SERIOUS PERSON LIKE MYSELF ACTUALLY ATTEMPTS BEING SERIOUS, PEOPLE LAUGH! Gosh I am never chucking dirties to anyone again.. ha not. But maybe now I should start being more serious so people can actually take me seriously when I am being serious. Gosh that was alot of serious'.

Over and out *dirties*

Friday, May 1, 2009

Lockdown, lockdown, lockdown

Mood: Content
Music: Electric Feel - MGMT
Craving: Nothing at all, I had the works today.

I thought today would be heaps crap, and well.. it kinda started off crap.
Benita: Hey what's the date today? OOO it's the first, PINCH AND A
PUNCH FOR THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH NO RETURNS! *tictacs*
Ivana: ............... OH MY GOD IT'S THE FIRST *cries*
Benita: Ohhh SHIT I'M SO SORRY I WON'T MENTION THAT AGAIN!
Then following that, I was playing with my ear in Legal.. when I noticed an odd lump form on my earlobe. I told Benita about it, she touched it, and told me I should probably check it out.
So for the rest of the 50 minute period, I started worrying and thinking it could be cancer. To which Benita laughed. BUT I WAS SO SCARED :| Honestly, like I need a terminal illness at a time like this.

The only reason the day started getting good was because we had a lockdown and fire drill =D I LOVE THOSE! It happened while we were in Modern.. and our teacher is the lankiest and tallest person ever.. so it was hilarious watching him trying to crawl under a desk. Either Benita or Viet said that lockdowns look like a massive slumber party.. then Benita was like "WE SHOULD SO DO THAT FOR OUR BIRTHDAYS!" Ah yes, then down to the oval we went for our fire drill. What if the oval was on fire? That is one question every Freeman student has asked over the years. I discovered something new today, Ricky is allergic to grass. HAHAHA!
(talking about Ricardo)
Ricky: I don't like him, first of all he has the gayest name ever..
Ivana: ISN'T YOUR NAME RICARDO?!?!?!
Ricky: Yes SHUTUP!!
It seems Ricky always has something weird yet stupid yet funny coming out of his mouth.. take pastoral today for instance..
Ricky: Ivana I will give you 50 bucks if you punch *beep* in the face, and I don't mean one
punch, I want you to keep on punching her. And I will throw shit at her, cos I can't hit her cos
she's a girl.. but I will throw stuff at her.
ROFLMFAO

Anyway, after that we went back to Modern and continued watching The Wave. It's a good movie, it's about how a Year 12 class in Germany made a facist regime like Hitler and the Nazis. We ended up staying back after school to finish watching it.. it was that riveting. The loner in the class who revelled in the fact that the group promoted union since he had no friends, and who just so happened to shoot himself when the group had to split up.. was named Tim. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA coinsidence? I think not.

So afterwards, Benita and I, and Alisa and Chantel walked down to Maccas. And we ran into Jeffrey on the way there! So he followed us to Maccas =) When we got there, we ran into Tails and Emily! SO MANY OF US WERE THERE! And me being the mad cunt, got them all freebie (H) Oh yeaaaah. Then while waiting in line, I hear someone yell out IVANA! and I turn and see it was Willeh! So I run out and tackle hug him, and by then everyone who I know was in the store. Then I saw Joe walking outside and I ran out screaming JOEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Then he came back for a bit. We all just sat there and ate and gossipped and what not. It was good =)

Tomorrow I might be going to Parramatta with the Nita's, then I'm going to the May-hem gig at Miller PCYC. Then from there, James, Ricky and I are going to Nadia's party. Should be a good day tomorrow, I'm excited =)

Over and out :)