Burn list

Mood: I don't even know
Music: One More Night - Phil Collins
Craving: Anything edible. Fuckin starving.

YEAH I don't know why I'm listening to Phil Collins either. I've got this habit of listening to music other than anything ending with 'core' lately, especially soppy sad songs. What is wrong with me.

(Don't answer that with 'Everything', you smartasses.)

Anyhoos, school is really starting to stress me out. All these assessments, and high expectations.. its getting to me. I wish it could just be how it was like back in the junior years. No expectations, no impending external examinations which can determine your future, and most of all.. just being able to cruise through. I hate waking up in the mornings, because I cannot bear facing another day in that hell hole. Not only does school work put me off, so does having to be around people you don't like. That happened to me today, and I was just like 'Eugh.' but oh well what can you do.. gotta soldier on.

I often find while I type these blogs, I daze off and end up staring at a particular thing on my wall while I collect my thoughts. At the moment, I have dazed at two things. A photo of me and Benita, and a replica of the burn list I created for Denita as part of her Christmas present. While I don't have a copy of that on the computer, I do have the photo.

Exhibit C: The incriminating photo

'Incriminating, why?' You may ask. Well given that this photo was taken at a pissup, and I look a bit foooked up, many would assume that I'm drunk in this photo. Benita just looks normal, but there is something about my face which gives off the impression I'm drunk. =\ I actually am not drunk in this photo CHANTEL!* believe it or not.. and wow look at my old hair and fringe. Some days I miss my hair like that. But dazing off and my daze finding this photo has made me reminisce some more (notice the link between my last few blogs has been reminiscing? Damn you English and damn you Gwen Harwood and the Sharpness of Death with your stupid links). I think back to the summer holidays, when I was living it up before I would have to knuckle down and study, back to when I was only ever at home once a week. Back to when long days ment longer time to be out with everybody. Back when everything was turning around and going great for me, and I enjoyed it. Back to probably the last time I was truly happy.

If I could but rewind to that time this year, and just hold onto that happiness (and the person who made me that happy for that matter), then I wouldn't even have anything to worry about and regret today.

As for that burn list? Why.. you wouldn't want to cross LIANA!* me and Denita.. because you will end up on that list :P It's so fun just to gaze up to it and look at the names, and think about why they are on that list.. and what would you do if they actually said sorry to you. It's been a topic of our phone conversations many times.. and answers range from 'Toofing in their face' and 'Giving them a bone crushing hug which screams your forgiveness'. We are such odd people.

I think that is all for tonight, over and out :)

* Liana and Chantel both wanted a mention in a blog AGAIN.. so I told them I would chuck them in :P hahahaha