Alternative perspective

Mood: Content
Music: Truth of the World - Evermore
Craving: A thickshake

Today was a good, and interesting day :)
Had that debate in Modern History today about whether or not Germany's democracy was destined to fail from the start, and well.. I owned it :) Mwahahahaha, admit it Bozz and Gerard. I freakin owned.

I also got Legal back :) And I'm happy with my mark. 19/20 for first section, 9/12 for second. I'm 6th in the grade now (H) Legal is officially my best subject.

Since it's Tash's birthday on Sunday, we had a party for her today too :) Whenever we have parties at school for people in our group's birthday, Zac ends up hogging all the cake. But today it seemed all the food he had to eat had formed itself into a trail towards him, as Tash pointed out it was the 'trail of destruction' HAHAHAHA

Exhibit D: The crumbs all lead to the suspect..

As some of you more 'dedicated' readers i.e. Liana would know, several blogs back I posted an 'apology' to an old friend of mine who got offended by my 'coping mechanism' after our friendship fell apart because of his negligence. Well I saw something today which makes me 100% confident that he never bothered actually reading it. So do I retract my statement? No, because I actually am sorry. But I just want to refute his statement, since period five Modern History made me realise I'm a hectic refuter. I never wanted to stop being your friend, that was your choosing, so don't say it's because I was the bitch, when really, it was you who was the prick. You wanna know why you're a prick?

1. All I asked of you was to be truthful to me, and even you couldn't do that.
   
2. "It's not like I'm going to turn around and get a girlfriend that's not you" Remember that? You should, you said it. And what do you know? After you told me you couldn't have a relationship because you were 'turned off by them' because of your ex, you did exactly that. Thank you so much for contradicting yourself.
   
3. I loved you with every ounce of strength I could muster, and obviously that ment nothing to you since you left like that.
4. Not only did you lie to me and disregard me in all ways possible, you then decided to rub in my face just how happy you are with her, when you knew full well how upset I was.
5. To make things worse, you put me down further when I was upset simply because I had expressed my emotions in an (I admit) inappropriate manner. Had you had any heart, you would understand why I was being 'such a bitch', and just leave me be until I had calmed down.
6. The fact that I've admitted I was wrong for something you had a problem with, and you still have a problem with it.. I mean what the fuck?
   
7. You completely gave up on me, a supposed 'close mate' of yours. I'm sorry, but a mate, let alone somebody who had apparently liked me back, would never fuck over their mate like that, then completely dog then when they needed you the most.
   

Knowing him, he wont even read this. But at least the rest of you will, and will know exactly why this has caused me so much anguish for 3 months.
And if you do read this, then I hope it sinks in deep.

Doing graphs for my questionnaire is annoying.. I have to download 2007 word since Open Office have crap graphs. This is going to take forever.

Work tonight was crap, store manager was working, and William came to visit. So I couldn't talk to him since she made me stay in Drive Thru to take the people's money. William is such a darl, he full came to the drive thru window just to talk to me :) Oh, and told me that the fugliest sped was shit talking about me, and how David was close to hitting her. Gosh I have the bestest friends :)

And some random texted Benita saying "Hey baby are you thinking of my face" or some shit like that HAHAHAHA

Weekends going to be hectic, working on assignments all weekend. (Note the sarcasm)

And now I bid farewell :)

"Dimitri, do you really think I'm royalty? ... Then stop bossing me around!"

Mood: Tired as!
Music: There's No Business To Be Done On A Dead Planet - All Shall Perish
Craving: To watch this DVD!!

James is a fucking psycho driver.
I have probably mentioned that before, but I will mention it again.
From slamming it in carparks, small streets, wherever, to screaming at every driver, to flying over speed bumps. Oh and not to mention his sharp, retarded turns. God help me.
And that was only the driver, us passengers ended up screaming out windows and barking at people LOL good times :) Should do it more often.

So we went to Liverpool tonight for some late night shopping.. got a bit worried that I might run into people I didn't particularly want to run into.. but luckily I didn't :)
I bought my mummy a wallet, and I bought myself Anastasia on DVD! MY GOSHHHH I've been searching EVERYWHERE for it and I finally found it :) I want to watch it now but I can't cos I'm gunna go to bed real soon.

Currently watching/listening to Eden's cover of 10 Signs You Should Leave by Emmure.. and he's doing alright.. for a noob ;) LOL
So yay for Eden

On this day last year, I would have just gotten out of the Avenged Sevenfold concert. It was a mad concert, I was thinking about it tonight. Having front barrier.. so close to Zacky Vengeance.. oh my gosh he was fucking sexy. This time last year I was probably saying "OMG BEST CONCERT ZACKY'S FUCKING GORGEOUS" and what not. It feels like it was just yesterday, funny how time flies so quickly.

It's my birthday in a month and a few weeks :) Which means I can go for my license :) I am so excited, this means more gigs for me!

BRITT! You must tell me ALLLL the gossip! I'm dying to hear!

I didn't do my Religion essay, dicks to Religion. I got better things to do.. like my PIP speech and my English speech.. dicks to English too actually. Dicks to all of school.

DICKS DICKS DICKS

Over and out :)

Burn list

Mood: I don't even know
Music: One More Night - Phil Collins
Craving: Anything edible. Fuckin starving.

YEAH I don't know why I'm listening to Phil Collins either. I've got this habit of listening to music other than anything ending with 'core' lately, especially soppy sad songs. What is wrong with me.

(Don't answer that with 'Everything', you smartasses.)

Anyhoos, school is really starting to stress me out. All these assessments, and high expectations.. its getting to me. I wish it could just be how it was like back in the junior years. No expectations, no impending external examinations which can determine your future, and most of all.. just being able to cruise through. I hate waking up in the mornings, because I cannot bear facing another day in that hell hole. Not only does school work put me off, so does having to be around people you don't like. That happened to me today, and I was just like 'Eugh.' but oh well what can you do.. gotta soldier on.

I often find while I type these blogs, I daze off and end up staring at a particular thing on my wall while I collect my thoughts. At the moment, I have dazed at two things. A photo of me and Benita, and a replica of the burn list I created for Denita as part of her Christmas present. While I don't have a copy of that on the computer, I do have the photo.

Exhibit C: The incriminating photo

'Incriminating, why?' You may ask. Well given that this photo was taken at a pissup, and I look a bit foooked up, many would assume that I'm drunk in this photo. Benita just looks normal, but there is something about my face which gives off the impression I'm drunk. =\ I actually am not drunk in this photo CHANTEL!* believe it or not.. and wow look at my old hair and fringe. Some days I miss my hair like that. But dazing off and my daze finding this photo has made me reminisce some more (notice the link between my last few blogs has been reminiscing? Damn you English and damn you Gwen Harwood and the Sharpness of Death with your stupid links). I think back to the summer holidays, when I was living it up before I would have to knuckle down and study, back to when I was only ever at home once a week. Back to when long days ment longer time to be out with everybody. Back when everything was turning around and going great for me, and I enjoyed it. Back to probably the last time I was truly happy.

If I could but rewind to that time this year, and just hold onto that happiness (and the person who made me that happy for that matter), then I wouldn't even have anything to worry about and regret today.

As for that burn list? Why.. you wouldn't want to cross LIANA!* me and Denita.. because you will end up on that list :P It's so fun just to gaze up to it and look at the names, and think about why they are on that list.. and what would you do if they actually said sorry to you. It's been a topic of our phone conversations many times.. and answers range from 'Toofing in their face' and 'Giving them a bone crushing hug which screams your forgiveness'. We are such odd people.

I think that is all for tonight, over and out :)

* Liana and Chantel both wanted a mention in a blog AGAIN.. so I told them I would chuck them in :P hahahaha

Facebook quizzes intrigue me

Mood: Relaxed
Music: Everything and anything Basshunter
Craving: Seared chilli wrap from Maccas

All I ever wanted was to see you smiling
all I ever wanted was to make you mine..

I'll go crazy now you're gone..

I'm crazy, all of a sudden I'm listening to Basshunter =\
Anyway! Liana and I are hilarious people.
This is why..

Liana says:
*stupid ferret i hate her so much!

.:. lol ivaaayyy (M) [11] Homeworking, doing other things. Expect lag replies says:
*LMAO FERRET
*AHAHAHA
*SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE
*AHAHAHAHAHA

Liana says:
*I KNOW ABAHAHAHAHA
*its a classic

.:. lol ivaaayyy (M) [11] Homeworking, doing other things. Expect lag replies says:
*ROFL WHATS WITH ANIMALS AND GRASSCUTTING OUR MEN

Liana says:
*HAHAHAHAH ROFLLLLL
*i kknow aye
*like get back to the fucking zoo already

.:. ivvaaa yyy (M) [11] Homeworking, doing other things. Expect lag replies says:
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hmm where did i hear that one before .hmm HAHAHAHAHAH

Liana says:
*ROFLLL
*;)

This certain snippit of the conversation has triggered another memory.
The use of animal nicknames for people had first originated in Year 9. If Annaliese sees this.. she would recall the Religion times where we would figure out which animal people in the class looked like. The two classics: Shark and Cheezles cheetah/weezle BAHAHAHAHA
Since then, everyone else has caught on :) It's quite fun, and sometimes scary accurate

Mad proud of myself, I managed to calculate percentages from my survey tally and transfer them into graphs :) I've got about 3 or 4 questions done.. and I quite like these pie graphs and column graphs :) Infact..

Exhibit B: The proof that I'm a mad grapher

There you go :) There is some nice graphing for you, eat that PIP markers! Mwahahaha!

Seems that the latest form of procrastination is Facebook quizzes.. and some are actually quite scary. According to "Which type of guys do you attract" I get the players, which is kinda true, and according to "What type of boy should you be with" I got the bestfriend boy.. which I tried doing everytime but it never worked. Well, more like they were my friends, and now one of them is my best friend.. but meh.

Oh and to all you pre teen faggots, be jealous, I know somebody who had an exclusive interview with the one.. the only..
Alex Gaskarth. ;)
Damn Chantel, the whole MySpace population must now envy you ;)

And to a certain somebody who loves to read and critically analyse my blogs, why don't you focus on your fail argument as to why the Weimar Republic was doomed to fail from the start.. oh wait don't bother, I'll just own you on Friday. Mwahahaha.

Over and out kids :)

Peppermint tea

Mood: Poignant
Music: One More Night - Cascada (DON'T LAUGH AT MEEEEEE)
Craving: Salt and vinegar chips

One more night, I wanna be with you
Where I wanna hold you tight
It feels so right
Tonight, I'll leave it up to you
and I think the time is right to stop the fight

While watching How I Met Your Mother, this ad came on for drug awareness.
It was on weed.. and it had scenarios where people were not acting their normal selves, not performing how they should ect ect
And with their mates standing around saying stuff like "I never thought he'd get this into it" and "She's changed, I don't know who she is anymore".
Well it's a real massive shame, but I can actually relate to situations like that. I don't condone drugs, and I don't care if people believe marijuana isn't a real drug.. it fucking is. Smoking gives you lung cancer, alcohol gives you liver damage, and marijuana fucks with your mental state. That is the truth, if you all want to be disillusioned teen faggots who think you are so invincible and that it won't have any effect on you.. fine. Your loss when you're 30 years old and living within white walls and a straight jacket.

Eurrghh, I just ate a really off grape. It tastes like fucking wine. Now this has broken my creative flow. I must now regain it.

I ducked out for the last 5 mins of HIMYM to make myself a warm cup of peppermint tea, to accompany while I watch Scrubs. I love the cooler months, it gives me the best excuse to overdose on tea. Camomile, peppermint, rosehip.. yummmmmmmmm. Now I want another cup of tea! When you grow up in a wog household, the above flavours of tea are the essential necessities in a household. None of this Breakfast tea shit.. it's all herbal maaaaaaaaate =) Now I sound like a stoner, which kind of contradicts my prior rant on drugs, but oh well. You all know I'm clean.. at least on drugs and cigarettes anyway ;)

Now as for my mood of poignant.. well, it's undeniable I've been a sad sack of shit these past two or so months. All I do these days is just replay the situation in my mind, I do not think of anything else. The only time I won't think about it, is when I preoccupy my mind elsewhere. So I find my sanctuary in my studies and when I'm out with my friends. But even then my damned mind can wonder. After yet another girl on girl analytical session, I've realised that this has gone on too long. It is now May, and I'm STILL suffering from February's misfortunes. It's so easy to realise that, but it's so much harder to actually do something about it. Which is why this poignancy (I don't even think this is a word) is around, it's more than crystal clear that that occurence has disrupted my way of thinking and even my personality to a degree.. but now I'm just struggling to get out of this rut. I want out, so so badly.

But I can't seem to find any possible means of escape. We tried talking and pretending nothing had happened, but that obviously didn't work. The pain was there, and too impossible to ignore, as was my dislike for his girlfriend. I'm currently trying to go cold turkey off him, and all it's done is made me think about him more. If there was some sort of brain surgery where you could erase the memory of meeting someone, would I take it? No, because obviously that is stupid and would stuff up the present, who knows, I could be worse off today had I not known him. Or I could have been better..
damn my thoughts to hell. This is why I need to get out of my rut, but I still haven't found that first step which will take me out.

This has happened to me before, but the second time should be so much easier. Why is it harder?

Moving on, I just noticed a particular photo on my wall. It's from the 2007 Athletics carnival. In the photo is me, Benita and Viet, with Zac wearing any sporting house prop he could find, with a sign saying 'normal people scare me'. This has actually triggered many memories of that day almost two years ago. I remember Zac getting off the bus and realising he left his sign in the bus, so me and him went to the library, got scrap paper, taped it together into a big poster and made a new sign. I remember laughing at his shitty haircut, and he hated it so much, he wore a Polding pirate hat+wig all day. He wore Turner's fairywings and tutu aswell. And who knows what else.Exhibit A: The actual photo

And, my gosh, how young do we all look. Benita still had her braces back then I think, because she isn't doing that big smile she does now. Viet.. well, Viet still looks as asian as ever, but she also looks like a 10 year old. It appears Zac is sticking out his jaw in this photo, and we all know who he looks like when he does that.. (for those who don't know, he looks like a certain Mr Cullen when he does that.. and sorry, he has a girlfriend). And me, oh gosh look at me. I had my mullet, and that necklace I'm wearing appears to be my 'Bullet bullet' as I used to call it. No really, its a bullet which says Bullet For My Valentine on it. Got it for $33 at Utopia.. RIIIIIIIIIIP! But hey, that's what people do when they're a faggy 14/15 y.o and think they're so mad and hip and down with the scene. It's a shame.. some are STILL like that.

But it's fun watching today's batch of 14/15 y.o's and laughing at them :) Silly girls.
Heard some pre teen losers at Aaron's pissup were fingering each other.. now that is just the grossest and most attention seeking thing I have heard of. Please get off MySpace and get a life.

Over and out :)

You are my sweetest downfall

Mood: Dare I say.. happy?
Music: Samson - Regina Spektor
Craving: Coke

Highlights of the night

• Playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with Zac and Lisa
• Watching Nightmare on Elm Street and watching people get scared.. I love that movie now, mad music!
• Ricky, Benita and James lagging it badly cos Ricky wanted Maccas
• Decorating Nadia's birthday cake with our names, and pictures (Zac drew a grim reaper?)
  
• Zac eating the writing icing from the tube and saying it tastes like 'meh'
• Dean setting our hands on fire =D
• "1..2.. Freddy's coming for you.. 3..4... Better close the door.. 5..6.. Get a crucifix.. 7..8.. Stay up late.. 9..10.. Never sleep again"
• Ricky burning Daprossi, and getting skewers and making Freddy hands.. running around the backyard screaming
• Zac hiding for 10 mins at a time and scaring people.. mostly Lisa
• Lisa climbing over the fence.. took her like 10 attempts LOL
• Punching Daprossi in the stomach
• Kicking Daprossi in the balls
• Ricky: "Nadia I did something in your toilet, and now it won't flush. I think my shits too big for it. Anyone wanna come look?" Dean: "What colour is it?" Ricky: "It's a bit of a greenish yellow colour.." All: "Ewwww" Ivana: "YEAH I'LL LOOK" *Follows Ricky who says it's a joke and to play along* Ivana: "EWWWWWWWWWWW GROSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"
• Waltzing and singing to songs from Anastasia
• "And do I dream again for now I find..." *Cyndy and co finish* "THE PHAAAANTOM OF THE OPERA IS THERE INSIDE MY MIND!"
• Ricky "Wanna start me?!" *Dean gets up* Ricky: "AHHHH!" *Runs around the pool and jumps the fence*
• Trying to do the one word at a time story game.. but failing
• *Shazza lies on Daprossi* Ivana "Wow that's the furthest hes gone with a girl" Benita "I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING!!" *hi fives*
• All of us bashing Zac with Lisa's permission
• Cyndy: "Oh btw, Issmael is not coming" Ivana: "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

So yes it is safe to say, Nadia's was quite fun :)
Now I'm starting to think about the load of assessments I've been getting and thinking of starting Society tomorrow.. or English.
I need to organise a time to interview James and his mum!
God I hate schoooool - _ -

Today at Stockies, me and Denita ran into a complete IDIOT. The reason this person is a complete IDIOT is because he confesses to Deni he likes her, then she couldn't go to some party of his because she was busy with her FAMILY, and he chucked the biggest CRY about it, and ended up going out with some random chick instead (they've broken up now, so dicks to you!). I MEAN WTF? That is just pathetic. So we see him, and he's obviously looking towards Denita, and he can also see me. So what do I do? I chuck him a massive dirty. Then he ends up saying hi to her.. yeah thats right bitch, my intimidating glance intimidates you. But then she asked me exaclty HOW I looked at him, and when I demonstrated.. she LAUGHED at me. It wasn't just laughing.. it was a prolonged period of very hard laughing. SO WHEN A NON SERIOUS PERSON LIKE MYSELF ACTUALLY ATTEMPTS BEING SERIOUS, PEOPLE LAUGH! Gosh I am never chucking dirties to anyone again.. ha not. But maybe now I should start being more serious so people can actually take me seriously when I am being serious. Gosh that was alot of serious'.

Over and out *dirties*

Lockdown, lockdown, lockdown

Mood: Content
Music: Electric Feel - MGMT
Craving: Nothing at all, I had the works today.

I thought today would be heaps crap, and well.. it kinda started off crap.
Benita: Hey what's the date today? OOO it's the first, PINCH AND A
PUNCH FOR THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH NO RETURNS! *tictacs*
Ivana: ............... OH MY GOD IT'S THE FIRST *cries*
Benita: Ohhh SHIT I'M SO SORRY I WON'T MENTION THAT AGAIN!
Then following that, I was playing with my ear in Legal.. when I noticed an odd lump form on my earlobe. I told Benita about it, she touched it, and told me I should probably check it out.
So for the rest of the 50 minute period, I started worrying and thinking it could be cancer. To which Benita laughed. BUT I WAS SO SCARED :| Honestly, like I need a terminal illness at a time like this.

The only reason the day started getting good was because we had a lockdown and fire drill =D I LOVE THOSE! It happened while we were in Modern.. and our teacher is the lankiest and tallest person ever.. so it was hilarious watching him trying to crawl under a desk. Either Benita or Viet said that lockdowns look like a massive slumber party.. then Benita was like "WE SHOULD SO DO THAT FOR OUR BIRTHDAYS!" Ah yes, then down to the oval we went for our fire drill. What if the oval was on fire? That is one question every Freeman student has asked over the years. I discovered something new today, Ricky is allergic to grass. HAHAHA!
(talking about Ricardo)
Ricky: I don't like him, first of all he has the gayest name ever..
Ivana: ISN'T YOUR NAME RICARDO?!?!?!
Ricky: Yes SHUTUP!!
It seems Ricky always has something weird yet stupid yet funny coming out of his mouth.. take pastoral today for instance..
Ricky: Ivana I will give you 50 bucks if you punch *beep* in the face, and I don't mean one
punch, I want you to keep on punching her. And I will throw shit at her, cos I can't hit her cos
she's a girl.. but I will throw stuff at her.
ROFLMFAO

Anyway, after that we went back to Modern and continued watching The Wave. It's a good movie, it's about how a Year 12 class in Germany made a facist regime like Hitler and the Nazis. We ended up staying back after school to finish watching it.. it was that riveting. The loner in the class who revelled in the fact that the group promoted union since he had no friends, and who just so happened to shoot himself when the group had to split up.. was named Tim. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA coinsidence? I think not.

So afterwards, Benita and I, and Alisa and Chantel walked down to Maccas. And we ran into Jeffrey on the way there! So he followed us to Maccas =) When we got there, we ran into Tails and Emily! SO MANY OF US WERE THERE! And me being the mad cunt, got them all freebie (H) Oh yeaaaah. Then while waiting in line, I hear someone yell out IVANA! and I turn and see it was Willeh! So I run out and tackle hug him, and by then everyone who I know was in the store. Then I saw Joe walking outside and I ran out screaming JOEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Then he came back for a bit. We all just sat there and ate and gossipped and what not. It was good =)

Tomorrow I might be going to Parramatta with the Nita's, then I'm going to the May-hem gig at Miller PCYC. Then from there, James, Ricky and I are going to Nadia's party. Should be a good day tomorrow, I'm excited =)

Over and out :)